Weight Problems? Could Unresolved Emotions Be the Underlying Cause?

When our emotions are more than we can cope with, a natural defence mechanism may come in to shut down the intensity of the feelings so that we are able to cope. Whilst this makes it easier for us at the time, it does mean that there is unresolved grief which will emerge at some point in our lives when we are more resourced. The point at which these emotions come out will depend upon our individual journey. For some they may suddenly emerge at one point, perhaps when we are more supported emotionally than we were before, and for others the unresolved emotions may reveal themselves gradually through our actions or words on a daily basis.My personal journey with grief following my sister's death when I was 12 years old was like this. The grief and grieving that I was feeling was so intense and there was no one there to guide me through it that I couldn't cope with it all and I shut down a whole heap of feelings to enable me to survive that period of my life. The fact that I wasn't feeling the true intensity of what was going on for me left me with long-term unresolved grief. When I was around 22 years old I talked with a friend about my sister's death and after listening to all the facts he simply said 'Yes, but how did you feel?' I couldn't grasp what he meant at first. I was unable to answer his question. No one had ever asked me how I felt about my sister's death before. I went home and this was when I began to realise that I was pretty numb about all that had happened at home from the time of my sister's death until I went to university.
Until this moment, until the beginning of the unpacking of the unresolved grief, my weight had been stable. I was a slim size 12 (UK size) and had only had one short bout of emotional eating at the age of 17 when a boyfriend dumped me and I gained 14lbs. But then I quickly lost that again through a food combining diet and exercise programme I put myself on for a month. Looking back, I can see that my weight began to fluctuate more in my mid-late twenties so that by the time I was about 26 I was a size 16.
Is unresolved grief leading you to emotional eating?
So what is emotional eating? My spiritual journey has brought me a good understanding of the world around me and from this I have learned for myself about my own journey with emotional eating. In paying attention to my body at those times when I want to eat when I am not hungry, perhaps when I am feeling sad about something or struggling with a stressful situation, I have come to notice that there is a painful hurt in the area of my stomach. Unable or unwilling to look at the cause of the pain because it feels overwhelming, I eat because what happens when I eat is that the food dampens the feelings, suppresses the pain that I am feeling and I am then able to cope. This is also known as 'comfort eating'.
Once I understood this simple process that was going on, that eating was a way of controlling the pain of unresolved grief, I understood why the various diets I had been on ultimately didn't work. Sure, I could lose weight, but then when the diet stopped, the weight would come back - and more! This roller coaster dieting and weight gain is a journey I have yet to master because I am still healing from my childhood journey.
So if you realise that you are succumbing to emotional eating, then see what unresolved grief there is from your life (and I 'm talking about unresolved grief not only from the loss of a loved one, but from other aspects of your life too) and begin working to resolve that.
Through Loving Transformation, Ruby Starheart provides a unique service to parents and siblings grieving the loss of a child in their family. She supports you through grief and grieving, into healing and then on to find or rediscover your passion in life and then helps you to achieve it. For more information visit: http://www.loving-transformation.com/
You can start today by signing up for the FREE 5 Step Mini Email Course and Discover the 5 BEST Steps to Overcoming the Loss of a Child: http://www.loving-transformation.com/what-next/mini-ecourse-sign-up-overcoming-the-loss-of-a-child/

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